Laura’s life mission is to champion the needs of those lost in midlife, helping them to change and grow into the BEST elders in American history.

Laura worked as a research librarian for 25 years before leaving academe to become a writer, author, and psychotherapist in 2005.   She is well qualified for this role, with three graduate degrees including one in counseling, and a specialty in midlife psychology.

Laura suffered her own personal recession back in 2004, when she lost her marriage, her job, and almost her home.  Since then she has turned her passion for transformation into a business, where she helps others survive and thrive when confronted with the normal psychological changes brought on by midlife.

Through her blogs, books, personal counseling, and professional speaking, Laura inspires others to confront and then embrace the inevitable changes brought on by midlife, re-framing personal challenges into a myriad of new and exciting opportunity.

Feel free to contact Laura for therapy, interviews, advertising opportunities, and speaking engagements at: MidlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com

Words from “The Queen”:

When I think back to where I was in 2001, embarking on the worst of my midlife changes, I am amazed and pleased at how it all turned out!   First I lost my marriage in 2001, then my job in 2004, and almost my home, before I woke up to the changes I needed to make NOW!   There were so many times I felt completely lost, hopeless, and alone in this journey, but I did not give up.   Eyes on the prize, even when it seems like an impossible dream!

A midlife crisis is a wakeup call to change the things that haven’t been working in our lives for years, but just seemed too hard to do anything about.   Things like difficult emotions, spouses, and careers.  It’s a normal, natural awakening, as we suddenly discover we only have so much time left.     If we’re going to change, now is the time!

MIDLIFE MAGIC BY LAURA LEE

This book will help you think about positive midlife change. By revealing her own up-close and personal journey, Laura Lee shows you how to navigate new waters with increased self-respect and confidence, and come out the other end of your own transformation, loving yourself like never before! Laura Lee Carter is an expert on midlife psychology and change.

THIS IS YOUR CHANCE AT “DO-OVERS” BEFORE IT’S ALL OVER!!!

Soon after I began writing professionally, I launched this blog.  I knew it was time for me to step up and offer support and encouragement to those who might be feeling lost in midlife hell.

My goal is simple, to bolster those whose courage has faltered, and show them there is still time to follow through on your craziest aspirations and ideals.  There is still time to change your life!

I believe we all have boundless potential to change at any age, and discover a life we can only imagine now.  Midlife is the perfect time to begin to manifest our own unique vision, that one we’ve been secretly nurturing for years.

I turned my midlife crisis into a business where I help others survive and thrive when they are confronted with their own challenges.   I now offer instructive, inspirational books, specialized psychotherapy, and inspiring free talks about the challenges of midlife transition.

Please allow me to help you make the most of this challenging time in your life!

Other blogs by Laura

Healthy Aging: Body, Mind and Spirit.

How to Believe in Love Again offers lots of great tips to help you believe that love is out there waiting for YOU again!

How to Believe in Yourself as a Writer offers encouragement as you start out.  Laura Lee became a writer at age 50.  Don’t miss her blog coaching to help YOU do the same!

The Midlife Queen Blows OFF STEAM! represents the QUEEN’s alter-ego.  A cynical, funny view of how crazy midlife can be.   Tell us how you REALLY FEEL!

If you read about Judi’s countdown to 50…you can now enjoy her ups and downs and downs and ups during her life after turning 50. You’ll laugh… you’ll cry… you’ll identify…as this extraordinary journey by this ordinary woman continues.

Judi is a 54 year old female baby boomer. Her blog is targeted towards the millions of baby boomer women (born between 1945 – 1964) who are going through a similar life journey in mind, body and spirit.

Widowed at the age of 50, she’s learning how to reinvent herself. Judi’s philosophy is to age gracefully, be optimistic about the future and keep her chin up.. so her neck stays forever wrinkle-free.

Mothering My Wonderful  90 Year Old Mom

My sister N and I spent this past weekend in Flo-ree-da visiting my mom. It was a joyous time. We ate well, we slept late each morning, we read the Sunday New York Times by the pool and soaked in plenty of rays during four glorious days of brilliant sunshine. (Yes, we put suntan lotion on, don’t worry we didn’t want our 50+ year old arms and legs to get too sunburned.)

It was so wonderful. I felt like singing “The Lazy Song” by Bruno Mars. Come on, sing a verse with me and you’ll see how it felt…

“Today I don’t feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don’t feel like picking up my phone
So leave a message at the tone
Cus today I swear I’m not doing anything
Nothing at all
Ooh hoo, ooh hoo
Hoo ooh ooh
Nothing at all”

While it felt great to “slow down” and take a break from our hectic lives, my sister N and I agreed that we take a lot of the physical things we can do for granted. Things like walking, taking a shower, getting in and out of a car, balancing on two feet or even one (as I do in yoga class).

Mom can’t move too quickly since she walks with a walker. It takes time for her to get in and out of a car and put on a seat belt. “Stand up straight,” I reminded her constantly. “Don’t push the walker too far out from under you. Take your time.”

Mom eats more slowly too. I bet she enjoys her food more than my sister N and me, as we are constantly rushing to the next job or task at hand. Mom is a mindful eater – that’s a good thing. “Are you sure you want to order the crab and seafood cannelloni?” I asked her at dinner on Saturday night. “Don’t you think that entree is too rich. I don’t want you to get a stomachache tonight.” She ordered it anyway and enjoyed a chocolate dessert afterwards too.

I brought my mom some new clothes – two cute tees and two pairs of pull up capris. I bought the kind of clothes that don’t have any buttons or zippers or ties that need tying. It’s hard for my mom to button a button with her arthritic hands. “Be sure to try on the new clothes and see if they fit,” I said to mom. “And wear the clothes, don’t just hang them in the closet and look at them.”

“Am I mothering my 90 year old mom too much?” I thought during certain moments. Maybe so, but whenever I tried the role reversal trick she shot back, “let me do it myself” and I tried to abide. 

Ugh, it’s not easy being a caregiver to an aging parent. However, this weekend we were three wild and crazy girls out milling around and doing a whole lot of chilling (as my son often says when I ask him what he is doing). No worries, no deadlines, just having fun.

“What book is that you are reading?”asked mom. 

“Fifty Shades of Grey,” I replied. “And N is reading Fifty Shades Darker.”

“Never heard of those books, are they any good?” said mom.

“Ooh, they are really good,” I replied. “But, mom, I think you are too young for these books.”

Happy Mother’s Day mom. I love you mom. So sorry, no fifty shades or fifty shades darker for you. No, no, no, not while I’m doing the mothering. The only shades you’re getting are the new sunglasses I bought you at Walgreen’s this weekend.  Oh yeah and please make sure you put them on when you go out in the sun, okay.

Judi

To read more great posts and learn more about Judi’s journey, please visit her at A Baby Boomer Woman’s Life After 50.

An amateur writer telling about retirement where the rubber meets the road!

Barbara is a retired kindergarten teacher sharing her life with her husband and a cat named RV. Family includes three children and 12 grandchildren.  She and her husband have traveled to the Far East several times including a vacation in Vietnam in December.   It turns out that family is their window into the world.  A son that lives in China has included them in his family vacations on several occasions leading them to the Spain, Philippines, Thailand, Hong Kong and, most recently Vietnam.  They also frequently enjoy time with their other two children.

She and her husband live 6 month in Arizona where they own a small and inexpensive park model located in a 55+ RV resort.   They play golf and enjoy the company of people that have become a second family.  In her description of that place she always say that “returning to their little doll house in the desert is like going back to college”.  Friends from around the world renew their friendships each fall. They spend their summers in their Oregon home near their family. 

Barbara is a freelance writer and owns several blog domains.  Her favorite is one called the Retire In Style Blog where she writes about her retirement lifestyle “out there where the rubber meets the road”.  The blog contains information on travel, snowbird lifestyle, retirement issues, financial information from experts, aging and the everyday life of a retiree.  She has just opened website called Gift Boomer where she plans to feature one unique gift for a senior every day.  

Being financial secure in retirement has been a blessing that allows the Torris’s to travel, support their family in small ways and live in two homes.  She says she feels very blessed. 

What do you WANT to do in retirement? 25 Questions!

There are so many choices for that second adulthood that follows retirement.  Should we travel the world, buy a second home in a warmer climate, move permanently to a warmer climate, move closer to our children, stay at home and pursue hobbies, go back to school, work part time, become a snow bird, take up Rv travel?…and the list goes on. Making a rational and financial sound choice requires that we sift through the choices carefully.

I woke up in the night thinking about how my husband and I could have fulfilled our retirementdreams more responsibly. I am not a retirement counselor…I am a retiree leading the snowbird life.   We went blundering through the early years of our retirement without a clue as to where the path would take us.  Yes, it has been an adventure but I am coming to realize the time (and money?) we could have saved if we had been clearer about what we wanted out of our retirement life. It was not until we actually knew what we wanted that we made good choices.  Here are 25 question I think will help you and, if you have a partner or spouse, the other person in your life gain an image in your minds of what your retirement lifestyle might look like. 

1. When were we the happiest in our life?
2. Could be do some of the things we miss out on doing when we were young? 
3. How much money will we have after the dust has settles?

To read the complete post please click here, http://www.retireinstyleblog.com/2012/05/what-do-you-want-to-do-in-retirement-25.html or if you want to learn more about Barbara, please visit her at Retire in Style Blog.

After 50, motivation can be the toughest part about working out. However, watching clips from a new documentary about Senior Olympians titled, Age of Champions, it is hard not to be inspired. This uplifting story of five competitors who sprint, leap, and swim for gold at the National Senior Olympics makes going to the gym three to five times a week look easy.

Each champion has made lofty goals, and surpassed them.  If Roger Gentilhomme can be a tennis champion at age 100 after battling cancer, arthritis, hernias, and concussions, shouldn’t I be able to do 20 pushups?  I think we could all use a bit of his dedication and motiviation.  As he puts it, “As long as I can compete, I’m going to be out there,” and “as long as I live, I’m going for the gold medal!”

Thankfully for us that need some help in getting started, Restart Retirement has posted tips for individuals over 50 who want to get motivated and get moving towards their fitness goal.  Here is their advice:

If you want to start exercising:

• Set a goal – any project or plan without goal will be a struggle
• Develop a plan to reach your goal – this is a must no matter what activity you enjoy
• Start small – if you are just starting set realistic goals
• Set interval goals and reward small short term accomplishments
• Create rewards that are pleasurable and away from your exercise
• Change routines and change often
• Develop a competition with yourself or a partner and relate back to rewards
• Chart progress so you can monitor and remember successes

If you are already exercising:

• Remember good days
• Remember the feeling of success and your pleasure rewards
• Focus on the big picture
• Withdraw during your routine
• Stay grounded but dream big
• Join a team or league if you are motivated by others and in a team or league sport
• Know what your urges are to quit and be aware of them
• Continue to mix things up
• Visualize your success
• If you get lost with mixing it up – get a coach

To read more about getting motivated over 50 head over to Restart Retirement’s post, Over 50 – The Toughest Element in Fitness is Motivation.

The good, the bad and the ugly, and how I’ve kept my sense of humor and a positive attitude

I began this blog in February 2010 because I was having issues with turning sixty.  From a woman who had celebrated each decade with much fanfare and celebration, this was puzzling to me.

I’ve never denied my age, felt my age, or looked my age, so why was turning sixty such a difficult milestone?  I’ll admit, even though we’re living much longer now, I seriously doubt I’ll see my 120th birthday.  Did that mean I’m no longer middle aged?  On the downhill slide?

I still don’t have the answers to those questions but I know that blogging has changed my life in more wonderful ways than I can count.  By sharing my life stories I’ve realized what an amazing life I’ve lived so far.  Discovering how my stories have helped others is the icing on the cake.

You will find two of the greatest gifts in my life here… Art and Words. It is my pleasure to share them with you.

My Art page has photographs, paintings, various creative endeavors, and a link to my online store. If you see something here you’d like as a poster, note card, or even on a coffee mug I can do that for you. Let me know what you’d like and I’ll add it to the store. It’s that simple. On My Books page you’ll find The Duffy Chronicles, the story of a pound puppy in search of his purpose in life. You will find your FREE gift on this page! If you or anyone you know has battled cancer, While You Were Sleeping, is a message of hope and inspiration.

Blogging has taught me the importance of sharing stories. When someone says my crazy life stories helps them better understand theirs, it’s a beautiful thing.

We all have a story to tell. I hope you’ll join us, comment and share yours. It’s easy to subscribe, even to comments. I try to answer everyone.

I hope you’ll join me for this adventure… subscribe via email or RSS… join theFacebook page… follow me on Twitter… share your stories with me.  I look forward to getting to know you.

If you aren’t comfortable joining the discussion in comments, please feel free to email me.

Shelley began her website four years ago at the urging of friends both young and old. Why? Because they admired her grandma style. Not in that of clothing, jewelry or home decor but in the way she chose to be a grandma to her Ten Little Pearls (grandchildren). She love’s enriching the lives of her grandchildren. And she does this in part by:

Creating and keeping quality family traditions going.

Providing opportunities to build unity and strong family bonds among the cousins.

Creating one on two-time with Papa, by inviting each child individually on special outings, visits to her home to do a craft project or a sleepover.

She has three traditions a year that are for the kids only. (Grandma Camp, Christmas Day Camp, and the annual Back to School Party)

These three events are looked forward to every year by her grandchildren. Wonderful memories are created between the generations, cousin unity is strengthened, and a great time is had by all.

It is these camps that she loves doing so much that has gotten the attention of the likes of the L.A. Times and Creators Syndicate who have both interviewed her and have published stories on my grandma camps.

Her family also has what she calls the Ho…Ho…Ho…lidays. This is her family’s schedule of holiday traditions that are looked forward to each year. The Grandkids Christmas Day Camp always kicks it off to give the parents a full day free from their children and free to do whatever they like.

More about Shelley:

“I began doing my camps when my first two grandchildren were just three and four.

Because my camps are jam packed with activities, crafts, and learning my website has tons of ideas for Christmas projects, party ideas, games, and more to do with the little ones you love.

I am also a contributor for Grandmother Hen a new website for grandparents. There I write on activities and crafts you can do for or with your grandchildren and on building memories with your grandchildren.

I share what I do as a grandma to help inspire other grandparents to squeeze every ounce of joy they can out of being a grandparent. I share what I do in hopes that it may help others to find the same joy that I do in this season of my life.

 On a personal note: I spend my time volunteering as an event planner. I am active in my church. I am currently serving on a committee for a women’s organization to plan and execute monthly enrichment activities for the women of the organization. My husband and I care for his mother who has Alzheimer’s in our home and I also have two elderly parents living with my older sister where I go to help whenever I am needed.

 I have been married for 37 years. I have four grown children and ten adorable grandchildren.

I feel very blessed to have all of my grown children and grandchildren living within 10 minutes of my home.”

To the on-line world I am known as Grandma Shelley

Special Guests for the Day

Two of my grandchildren go to a small country school that their mother handpicked for them to attend.  While most schools have several classes per grade and large numbers of children in each classroom this small country school is very different. It is K-6 grades and there is one class per grade. The classes have right around 16 students with a teacher and an aide for each class.

Something else this small school is able to have is some great enrichment activities for the students. This year the kids were able to invite their grandparents to come and have lunch with them. Papa and I went and joined our two grandsons for lunch. It ended up being quite a day with a big Cinco De Mayo celebration!

To read the complete article please click here, Special Guests for the Day or read more great articles by Shelley by visiting her at Grandma’s Little Pearls.

Karen is the mother of 8 grown children and grandmother to 12 children (including 2 step-grandchildren). She has a B.S. in Community Health Education from the University of Utah and is currently earning her M.A. in Psychology: Specialization in Health and Wellness. She is a freelance writer as well as a Health & Wellness Counselor.

Some of Karen’s interests include dancing, writing, organizing, gardening and nature, healthy holistic living, hiking or walks in the forest, sewing fun and easy projects, historic novels, visiting historic places of interest, and most definitely my spiritual pursuits.

Making ends meet while raising grandchildren

I receive a mountain of emails from grandparents who are struggling financially to make ends meet while raising their grandchildren. According to my survey, of the 2919 people who answered a question about their biggest issues, 63.9% wrote that financial issues were their biggest problem.

Often I receive emails from mostly grandmothers wanting to know where they can get financial assistance. There is some help out there for most grandparents, but sometimes the amount is so minimal, it might only cover the cost to clothe the children or maybe feed them, if you are one of the fortunate ones. But one thing is for sure, we must not look for government help to cover all of the needs of grandparents and grandchildren.

I have a dear friend who is a grandmother raising a 2 1/2 year old granddaughter. Obviously she needs a sitter when she works. I am extremely impressed with the ambition and determination of my friend. Katherine is educated with a master’s degree but was unable to find satisfactory work. So she does about anything. She cleans people’s houses, cooks food for parties, sews costumes, and runs errands for elderly clients.

I am so impressed with Katherine. She is about 5 years younger than I am (early 50″s), but appears to have the energy of a younger woman. Even though her education has not helped her get a job in her industry, I believe it has helped her with a healthy self-esteem and ambition to do whatever she needs to do in these difficult economic times. When I met her husband the other day, he asked if I was one of her clients. Me? I couldn’t afford to hire her to help me with my many chores and the like. I wish I could. Katherine explained to her husband that I was the one who has the www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com website.”Oh!” He responded.

I am so impressed with the ingenuity of so many grandmothers. They do what they have to do. In these difficult econmic times, it is hard on most people, but older people who are raising children they had not been expecting to raise, often find themselves in very different situations than they had expected at midlife.

It is obvious that we can’t count on the government to help enough to really make a difference in our financial situation. In fact, I am of the type, that believes women need greater opportunities to earn the money they need, while at the same time caring for grandchildren.

Wouldn’t it be great as grandparents who have a skill to market, if we banned together to promote our services, allowing us ways to market ourselves, while we raise children. Raising these children are our future. They will be the ones making decision when we are old and need to be taken care of.

Please share any ideas that you might be doing to earn extra money (legitimate ideas) to care for your grandchildren.

Karen Best Wright, B.S. M.A. Holistic Health & Wellness Educator/Coach

The Wellness Way

If you want to read more great articles about grandparenting, please visit Karen at Grandparents Raising Grandchildren or send her an email here.

Sue Johnson, an honors graduate of Wheaton College, is the founder of Heartstrings Press. She has also operated Gramma’s Graphics, Inc., a mail-order business specializing in blueprinting and sunprinting kits for the past thirty years.        

A mother of three, grandmother of seven and an honorary mother of eight exchange students, Sue is passionate about family. When her initial Grandloving query to 150 of their friends snowballed into 350 responses, Sue knew she’d struck a chord with enthusiastic grandparents. As a long-distance grandmother, she uses ideas from her years as a teacher to enliven communications with her grandchildren.        

Sue has become known as a contemporary grandparenting expert, serves as a judge for the prestigious Mom’s Choice Award, and helps families connect. She and Rick, her husband of 51 years, live in Lancaster, Virginia.        

GRANDLOVING helps you be a grandparent that every child wants! Grandloving’s heartfelt ideals let you connect, bond, and grow close with your grandchildren.        

Their site and book feature hundreds of tips and projects for you to use with your family, whether they live around the corner or across the globe.        

GRANDLOVING: 5^th Edition

Grandloving features hundreds of engaging, low-cost activities to do together or send in the mail. Grandloving is family-written by Grandma Sue Johnson, her daughter-in-law, Julie Carlson, and daughter Elizabeth Bower.  Grandloving has been selected as one of the five finalists for Favorite Grandparenting Book in the2012 Readers’ Choice Awards, sponsored by About.com. Grandloving: Making Memories with Your Children, 5th edition is also a winner of 8 National Parenting Awards.  

GaGa Sisterhood was founded by Donne Davis, a grandmother who has made it her mission to help grandmas connect with each other and explore what it means to be a grandma today. Ever since she became a grandma in 2003, she has found inspiration and reassurance from other grandmas by discovering that all the joys and challenges she was experiencing in her new role were “normal.” 

Over the past eight years, she’s had the pleasure of meeting hundreds of grandmas who share the same passion for their grandchildren as she does. These people have inspired her with their creative energy and motivated her to delve deeper into understanding this fascinating time in our lives. 

Besides writing regularly for her blog, she also writes a monthly newsletter called the GaGazine and monthly newspaper column called The Go-To Grandma for Parenting on the Peninsula. She is a contributor to The Art of Grandparenting, a funny, touching, informative collection of essays, stories and tips by 20 grandparent authors. In her chapter, How to Become a Go-To Grandma, she’s written seven strategies for developing lifelong meaningful relationships with our children and grandchildren. Donne recently contributed a chapter called “Four Generations of First Born Daughters,” about four generations learning how to get along. This is part of a new anthology - Wondrous Child: The Joys and Challenges of Grandparenting. 

Her two granddaughters have been her favorite playmates. Their lively imaginations have constantly reignited the child in her and allowed her to share their sense of wonder. When Donne is not playing with her granddaughters she enjoys yoga, Zumba, hiking, journal writing, meditating, singing, and gathering family and friends together for celebrations. 

The mission of the GaGa Sisterhood is to:

• Explore what it means to be a grandma today—both the joys and challenges.
• Share wisdom and resources that enrich our family life.
• Inspire each other with creative ways to stay connected with our grandchildren

Multigenerational Living is a Growing Trend

Last year 6.6 million U.S. households had at least three generations of family members living together, according to the census. That’s an increase of 30% since 2000. Fifty years ago it was common for three generations to live together, says Niederhaus. But over the past five decades the American family has shifted to the “nuclear family” with mom, dad, and kids living in isolation, creating the challenge of who will care for the children and the elderly.
 

“One way to meet both these needs is for families to return to pre-World War II living styles where extended families lived in close proximity to one another,” says Niederhaus. “Grandparents could help raise their grandchildren. Then, later in life, they would be nearby to receive help with their own care, if needed.” 

Niederhaus and Graham have written a comprehensive guide to understanding the benefits, practicalities, and challenges of multigenerational living. They give advice on how to start a conversation with your aging parents about living together, who should be involved, and deciding whether it’s even a possibility. 

The authors were motivated to write the book after dealing with their younger brother’s deteriorating health, his long-term care and premature death at the age of 45. Visiting him in the nursing home left them questioning how the sick and elderly are cared for in our society. They thought there must be better, more compassionate ways to care for family without such separation and isolation. 

Managing Multigenerational Living 

Niederhaus interviewed 100 families across the U.S. to learn how they managed multigenerational living. Their success stories illustrate that proximity andprivacy are two key words to think of when you begin the process of deciding what type of housing to use for extended family living. Ideally, they suggest a separate entrance and kitchen for the different generations. 

To read the complete article please click here, Multigenerational Living: A Guide For Success, or learn more about Donne and the joys of being a grandma at  GaGa Sisterhood. 

The following post was written by Paula Enrietto, the managing director of Senior Health Insights.

Senior Health Insights, a Louisville, CO based company was founded by Paula Enrietto, PhD and Neil Kabrun, PhD to support seniors and those who care for them with software, services and education. Our goal is to optimize the living experience for all seniors. Our unique mix of skills as caregivers, senior living an operator, educators and software developers comes together to provide tools and services to service providers and seniors themselves. Our senior housing specific software suite, SHI Optimize ^TM, allows senior housing providers to track and analyze marketing, sales and operational activities.  With real data, we help them optimize the operational performance of their communities and deliver high quality services to your residents and families.

Why did we choose the word “optimize” to describe the outcome of using SHI products and services? As operators of a senior living community, we were always on the lookout for ways to improve the experience of the seniors who lived in our community as well as the business of operating a senior living community. But, we soon realized that we were working with a palette of conflicting requirements and constraints. Rather than simply improving my community, we were optimizing it. Optimize is a word rich in meaning and is a perfect word to describe the process we were going through. And—a perfect word to describe the life transitions that residents were going through within the community.

Simply put, “optimize” is defined as the process of making something as effective and functional as possible; of finding the best compromise among several seemingly conflicting constraints. In the world of senior living operations, this was exemplified by the need to deliver first class services to residents in the face of significant budget constraints.

Interestingly, it became clear that the residents living in the community were there to “optimize” their lives. They expected an experience that would support healthy, successful aging. What does successful aging look like? It is defined as the development of optimal mental, social and physical well-being and function. Most often, however, successful aging plays out against a background of constraints that come with declining health. How does a senior age as effectively as possible in a community given these constraints? Through the delivery of optimized services that fully supports their quest for optimal aging.

So, to optimize is to find the best solution, given many conflicting constraints, that leads to an effective outcome—be it successful aging or a well-run operation. Senior Health Insights is about providing those tools and services to insure that seniors live the best life possible!